What is happiness?

Defining happiness is not easy, as human beings perceive this notion in a totally different way. There are few moments in life when we realize (on an emotional level) how happy we are, but the feeling is so soon forgotten that it immediately turns into a faded memory.

Positive emotions commonly generate happiness, such as achievements, shared love, affection, joy, or a state of well-being, like pleasure. Merely seeing a beautiful flower or looking at the blue sky can bring happiness to some people.

We all want to be happy, but we can’t really say when we are… It’s obviously ironic that such a powerful life goal can’t even be identified when it turns into reality. As soon as we achieve what seems to make us happy, we instantly find another object of desire to start the quest all over again. It is never enough for humans; they can never be entirely satisfied. Our mind is vulnerable and miserable without some kind of long-term motivation.

Happiness clearly cannot be reduced to a few agreeable sensations. Rather, it is a way of being and of experiencing the world. Unfortunately, most of us acknowledge that we rarely feel happy as a whole. Is such a permanent state even possible? Perhaps that’s the explanation for so many people turning towards divinity in search of ways to maximize their chances of happiness.

Instead, let’s just try to make it simple: establish a goal and show absolute commitment, no matter the sacrifice. Spiritually not materialistically. A true state we must aim at from inside. The search for happiness comes from within, like so many other things we get in life.

Confesiunile unei mamici

Pot sa spun ca sunt norocoasa, Dumnezeu mi-a dat un copil sanatos si energic. Dar in ultimele 6 luni am aflat ca meseria de mama este poate cea mai grea (necesita multa multa rabdare!). Si dupa modelul "Neveste disperate" sunt convinsa ca ar iesi un serial pe cinste despre "Mamici disperate", as putea fi cu usurinta unul dintre personaje :) De cand s-a nascut Marcus am stiut ca este un copil deosebit, dar anume faptul ca este deosebit il face poate mai dificil. Fenomenul se defineste in 3 cuvinte: hiper-agitat, nedormit si precoce.

Epopeea a inceput din a doua noapte la maternitate, cand am avut curajul sa-l tin langa mine pana dimineata si nu am dormit deloc. Am descoperit atunci ca al meu copil este certat rau de tot cu somnul si plange extrem de mult din orice. Primele 2 luni a plans incontinuu, de nu stiam ce sa-i fac, imi venea sa plec in lume, plangeam de plansul lui... eram disperata. Un plans din ala isteric de-ti bubuiau creierii, insuportabil. Plangea ziua foarte mult iar noaptea se trezea aproape din ora in ora. Asta cu trezitul des a tinut pana de curand, la 6 luni, cand a inceput sa doarma 4-5 ore legate. La inceput nu simteam oboseala dar pe la 5 luni ajunsesem sa ma ia lesinul pe strada, intrasem intr-o depresie grava pe fon de nesomn. Copilul nu se trezea neaparat de foame, ci vroia sa fie leganat sau tinut in brate.

Pe la 2 luni jumate s-a mai calmat, cand a inceput sa inteleaga ca nu-i suntem dusmani, ba chiar sa ne zambeasca. Dar nu dormea ziua aproape deloc. Adormea dupa un leganat de vreo jumatate de ora si se trezea dupa 10 minute plangand. O luai de la capat si-ti venea sa urli. Nu puteam sa fac nimic, ma solicita 24 ore langa el (valabil si acum). Alaptatul la san a fost si ramane singura metoda de a-l linisti si de a-l adormi.

La fix 3 luni s-a rasucit prima data pe burta si am intrat intr-o noua etapa. Devenise obsedat sa se intoarca pe burta in orice moment, chiar si in somn (ceea ce ducea inevitabil la trezire pt ca isi ridica imediat capul sa se uite in jur). Nu statea (si nu sta nici acum) in aceeasi pozitie 2 secunde la rand. Se sucea, se rostogolea, pana a cazut din pat si am realizat ca e grava treaba: copilul meu este hiper activ (diagnostic dat si de pediatra). Plansul ramanea frecvent si isteric, din orice. A invatat sa-l foloseasca drept arma pentru a atrage atentia si a obtine ce vrea (cam devreme). La 3 luni am renuntat la landou pentru ca ca refuza cu vehementa sa mai stea culcat pe spate. Am trecut la caruciorul sport, pozitie semi-culcata (la care am renuntat pe la 5 luni fiindca vroia sa stea numai ridicat ca sa vada totul in jur). Tot cam din aceasta perioada alaptatul s-a transformat intr-o lupta, caci el nu sta cuminte ca alti bebelusi sa manance; el in timp ce suge da haotic din manute, ma escaladeaza cu picioarele, ma impinge cu capul, incearca sa se intoarca, si sunt nevoita sa-l mut de la un san la altul din 2 in 2 minute. Este extrem de anevoios si solicitant.

La 5 luni si 3 saptamani deja mergea de busilea prin camera... era suficient sa pui un obiect fascinant (telecomanda, mobil, mouse) la oarece distanta si ajungea imediat la el.

Pentru el nu are nici un farmec statul in fund, fiind o pozitie statica; el vrea sa se miste incontinuu. Argint viu e putin spus. Schimbatul de pampers e chinul pamantului, imbracatul se face din pozitie verticala, pe brate, sau distrat de o a doua persoana. Nu sta pe spate nici daca dansezi in fata lui. De la 3 luni pana cand a inceput sa se deplaseze a stat numai pe burta (fenomen pe care nu l-am mai auzit la nimeni).

Exact de cand a implinit 6 luni a intervenit o noua obsesie – ridicatul in picioare. Exerseaza oriunde prinde ceva de care sa se sprijine si reuseste daca are stabilitate. La 1 noaptea majoritatea bebelusilor dorm dusi, numai al nostru sta in picioare in patut cu mainile prinse bine de margine. Nu adoarme decat tarziu dupa miezul noptii, iar ziua daca doarme jumatate de ora deja ma declar multumita. Are nevoie de foarte putin somn, in comparatie cu alti bebelusi, iar ca sa doarma trebuie leganat incontinuu... Ziua umbla prin casa si se prinde de sertare, dulapuri, scaune, se loveste. Tarcul, patutul si scaunelul de masa reprezinta deja niste inchisori care il priveaza de libertate si protesteaza vehement daca il tinem acolo mai mult de 5 minute.

Eu atata perseverenta, hotarare si ambitie nu am vazut la nimeni pana acum. Nu stiu ce va fi mai departe dar pana acum copilul nostru a realizat in timp record ceea ce si-a propus: 1) sa se intoarca pe burta (la 3 luni), 2) sa se deplaseze de-a busilea (la 5 luni), 3) sa se ridice in picioare (la 6 luni). Anticipez ca urmeaza mersul pe la 8 luni, ceea ce ar fi foarte precoce.

Cine s-ar fi gandit ca va fi atat de greu? Unii copii sunt cuminti, nu plang, nu se agita atat de mult, uneori sunt aproape tentata sa invidiez alte mame. Dar pana la urma tot al meu e mai bun... sunt mandra de el si il iubesc la nebunie. Cand adoarme in bratele mele sau ma mangaie pe piept cu manuta in timp ce papa la san este un inger si mi-e cel mai drag.

My favorite "Friends" quotes

Joey: You've got to name your first child Joey!

Chandler: Why?

Joey: Hey, I may never have kids so somebody's gonna carry on my family name!

Chandler: Your family name is Tribiani!

Monica: Hey, where are all my ovulation-sticks? There's only one here.

Chandler: I might have checked to see if I was ovulating a couple times.

Monica: Chandler!

Chandler: I am not working. There's not much to do around here!

Joey: I thought it'd be great, you know? have some time alone with my thoughts... turns out, I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.

Phoebe : If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.

Rachel: Oh my God. I've become my father. I've been trying so hard not to become my mother, I didn't see this coming.

Joey (watching old videos of Monica): Some girl ate Monica!!!

Monica: Shut up, the camera adds 10 pounds.

Chandler: so how many cameras are actually on you?

Chandler: All right, look if you absolutely have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timing's right. And that's what deathbeds are for.

Monica: Guys can fake it? Unbelievable! The one thing that's ours!

Chandler: Condoms?

Joey: We don't know how long we're gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.

Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?

Joey: Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.

Joey: Pheebs, you wanna help?

Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I really don't want to.

Cele mai urmarite seriale

The Big Bang Theory - umor total inedit, glume sofisticate, inteligente, care nu te fac sa razi in hohote dar te amuza intr-un mod placut; nu este pentru oricine; tipare de personaje foarte funny desi aparent boring (nerds!). Sunt la sezonul 5 si inca mai gust din farmecul originalitatii acestui serial.


Friends - cel mai bun serial de comedie ever, l-am revazut de multe ori si rad mereu cu aceeasi pofta, glume foarte simple dar autentice; personaje pe care nu ai cum sa nu le indragesti si care devin in timp ca si prietenii tai! 10 sezoane la fel de bune. The best of the best!

 

Gossip Girl - kind of addictive, primul sezon a fost palpitant, apoi a scazut in intensitate, dar creaza dependenta oarecum, dupa sezonul 4 am zis ca nu ma mai uit dar tot ma uit, don't ask me why (poate pt a-l revedea mereu pe Chace Crawford :) O ador pe Blair si n-o sufar pe Serena, frecventa seratelor si petrecerilor e deranjanta la un moment dat iar unele intrigi par a fi cusute cu ata alba.
 

Desperate Housewives - il urmaresc din 2004 cand s-a lansat, eram fascinata la inceput, dar dupa sezonul 5 s-a cam rasuflat. Pt cei care nu l-au vazut, recomand primele 5 sezoane. Dupa aia se trage mata de coada la greu, dar merita vazut daca te prinde. Am plans la ultimul episod din ultimul sezon - acest serial facea parte oarecum din viata mea de atatea ani.

Cougar Town - nu e grozav, dar merge, are un pic mai mult sens decat alte seriale de comedie americane, si nu mai auzi rasete in fundal (cu alte cuvinte razi cand simti nu cand ti se spune!). Ca sa gusti glumele lor trebuie sa ciulesti bine urechile pt ca protagonistii vorbesc extrem de repede. Ma enerveaza ca sunt toti cam betivi. 

The Office (U.S) - foarte, foarte tare primele 7 sezoane cu Steve Carell, m-am distrat copios cu fazele lor de la birou. Dupa ce a plecat Steve s-au prostit cu totul, nu mai e ce a fost. Interesanta abordarea (mockumentary) - monologul personajelor in fata camerei, intr-un cadru intim, de parca ar fi niste confesiuni. 
 

How I Met Your Mother - e ok, dar hai frate, nici dupa 7 sezoane nu si-a cunoscut Ted viitoarea nevasta? Publicul tot asteapta sa se justifice titlul, dar in zadar. Eu una m-am plictisit sa astept. Inedit - scene care au loc in imaginatia personajelor, incat uneori te ametesc, nu mai stii ce anume se petrece in realitate. E destul de amuzant per total.

North & South vs. Pride & Prejudice

In spite of all the differences: society, manners, tone and context, North and South's love story very much reminds me of Pride and Prejudice. The two protagonists form a distorted opinion about each other, she (Margaret Hale) despises him, he (John Thornton) falls for her, proposes to her, she rejects him, he's upset but reconsiders his behavior due to her influence, then she falls for him, being concerned about his supposedly bad opinion of her, then he saves her reputation, there seems to be no chance for them to be together but, finally, they reveal their true feelings and live happily ever after. Very nice movie, recommended for those who enjoy Victorian England adaptations.

Cateva remedii pentru bebelusi hiperactivi

Conform statisticilor, un procent din ce in ce mai mare de bebelusi sunt hiper activi. Hiper activitatea se manifesta prin ore de somn extrem de putine (in jur de 10 ore din 24, desi ar trebui sa doarma 17-18 ore, mai ales nou-nascutii), adormit foarte dificil, somn agitat sau in reprize scurte, plans frecvent in timpul somnului, in stare de veghe – agitatie, agresivitate, dispozitie instabila, plans isteric, mese frecvente (la 1-2 ore), dorinta de a fi purtat mereu in brate sau leganat (mai ales seara).
Iata remediile care le-am identificat, unele mai mult sau mai putin eficiente, in functie de personalitatea fiecarui bebelus:

1. Schimbarea pozitiei – Daca bebe scanceste in timpul zilei, nu ii este somn, este hranit si curat, o solutie buna este schimbarea pozitiei lui, de exemplu, multora le place sa stea pe burtica (desi unor parinti le este frica sa-i puna pe burtica in primele saptamani de viata), pe o parte (unora nu le place pentru ca simt ca nu au stabilitate), semi-sezanda – ca intr-un fotoliu, sau pe verticala (in brate). Alternate des, il pot pacali sa stea cuminte cateva minute.

2. Leganatul – Functioneaza perfect inainte de somn, dar nu se recomanda in stare de veghe. Bebelusul trebuie sa invete sa asocieze leganatul cu somnul si sa stie ca daca este leganat trebuie sa adoarma. Dezavantajul - bebelusii hiper activi se trezesc in momentul in care nu mai sunt leganati. Daca e cineva disponibil in casa ar fi bine sa-l legene in continuu macar in timpul zilei pentru a-i asigura un somn mai de lunga durata.O solutie buna ar fi achizitionarea unui leagan automat, pe baterii.

3. Plimbatul prin casa – mai ales in pozitie verticala, se dovedeste a fi extrem de eficient in stare de veghe daca bebelusul este plangacios. Il calmeaza faptul ca se simte in siguranta dar si vede tot ce se intampla in jur, se schimba peisajul (ii capteaza atentia). Dezavantajul – poate fi foarte obositor.

4. Mese mai dese – chiar daca e obositor pentru mama, poate fi o solutie. Eu sunt impotriva meselor la ore fixe. Sanul matern nu este doar o sursa de mancare pentru bebelusi ci si un refugiu, o sursa de calmare, un loc unde se simt protejati.

5. Camomilla – este un remediu naturist care functioneaza in cazul unei energii debordante. Este suficienta administrarea a 2 portii a cate 5 granule dizolvate in apa fiarta sau lapte. Asteptati efectul in cateva zile, nu imediat. Bebelusul va deveni mai somnolent si un pic mai linistit, cel putin in timpul somnului. (nu e valabil pentru toti)

6. Infasatul – desi suna arhaic, functioneaza in majoritatea cazurilor. Micutul se va revolta cu siguranta si se va agita la inceput in tentativa de a se elibera dar pana la urma se va linisti si va adormi.

7. Plimbari in aer liber – aerul proaspat ii calmeaza, mai ales cel racoros, toamna, iarna sau primavara. Cu conditia sa plimbati caruciorul in continuu. E posibil ca bebe sa inceapa sa se agite in momentul in care nu mai simte miscare. Dezavantaj – necesita conditie fizica!

8. Suzeta – poate fi o sursa de calmare doar pentru o parte dintre bebelusi. Unii (mai ales cei alaptati la san) o ling si o scuipa atunci cand realizeaza ca nu curge nimic bun din ea, mai ales daca plang, o refuza prompt. Nu obisnuiti bebe-ul sa doarma cu suzeta pentru ca o va pierde in somn si se va trezi.

9. Uscatorul de par – este un remediu miraculos si prietenul de nadejde al parintilor de bebelusi hiper activi. Merge si aspiratorul sau blenderul, datorita zgomotului ritmic care ii linisteste, dar si aerul cald al feonului.

Daca identificati si alte metode, nu ezitati sa-mi lasati un comentariu! Poate fi util.

The Euro zone still deep in the dumps

I couldn't help but notice that after several years of struggling and brainstorming, the fate of the euro still remains uncertain.  The European currency continues to walk around like a very sick patient looking for a miraculous cure. Whereas its various parts are being periodically swathed, nobody considers treating the poor patient as a whole. Unfortunately, the euro zone is still going through a serious sovereign-debt crisis and growth stagnation.

There are actually very few solutions to boost the European economies. Most governments in the euro zone have been recently tossed out by budget deficit and eye-watering costs. The dire economic straits are currently emphasized by visible lack of fiscal unity. There is still a huge gap between old and new members on so many levels. Most European citizens cling to the hope that a certain federalism will eventually emerge to keep things going, but that could take another decade or so.

At this point, the net foreign borrowing in the public, as well as in the private sector, remains problematical. Indebtedness prevents governments from applying the usual fiscal incentives, such as currency devaluation and monetary policy. Structural reforms are out of question, at least not in the near future.

Countries dealing with budget deficit could reduce payroll taxes in order to minimize labor costs. Otherwise, they could take the painful decision to raise VAT and cast down imports. It seems like globalization can really gobble up a big chunk of economic perspectives for the European markets, favoring other ascendants, such as China. On the contrary, countries dealing with consolidated budgets should slow down their rhythm by letting inflation run higher. The problem with such countries, as Germany, is that they refuse to take initiative for an eventual unity and are afraid to risk their own competitivity.  Although Germany often suggests political unity, desired by most European leaders, it dodges the idea of fiscal unity, so necessary in the future, to maintain EU afloat.

Even countries that have already received considerable bail-outs over the past two years find themselves still deep in recession and may need second or third aids. EU leaders are currently evaluating the possibility of raising the amount of rescue funds, as a viable solution to save the Euro zone. Many economists highly doubt that would help. The consequences for each of these beneficiaries can turn out to be disastrous in the long run. 

Europe appears sluggish and unprepared to face another euro crisis and it is almost swamped by the harsh perspective of having to give up on its dearest currency. But what are the alternatives? Almost non-existent. The euro must survive in order to avoid an economic chaos and secure the magnificent euro project. The only option for Europe now is to square off and focus on how to make the economy grow, even in painful circumstances.

Afraid of being different

It takes a lot of courage to be different. Very few people ask themselves: Why should I be like everyone else? Why should I do what everyone else does? As far as I know, we are the most evolved species on earth, but some of us never take interest in such questions. And even fewer succeed to distinguish themselves by thinking differently or doing something unique. Most people are too comfortable in their choice of following certain patterns in life and enjoy acting as if they were part of a herd of animals. Social rules and prejudices transformed us into millions of copycats. For example: we all have to dress in a certain way in order to be accepted in society, we all have to be baptized into a specific religion, we all have to get vaccinated at a certain age, we all have to buy an apartment and get married by the age of 30, etc. Every day we act like robots, not even realizing how ridiculous and boring we really are.

The human brain allows listening to and considering other people’s opinions but is perfectly able to create personal ones. We are absolutely capable of acting and thinking in our own way. Unfortunately we don’t. Perhaps doing what everyone else does and embracing others’ opinions as our own is the easiest way to go through life. It’s also very common to judge and despise fellows who display powerful personalities by going against social conventions. We never appreciate their courage and boldness. They are “outsiders” and “freaks” just because they are different.

Defined as complex and fascinating, the human being tends to resemble animals, rather than aspire to a higher level of intelligence, simply because being unique involves originality, individualization and crossing “borders”, which is beyond most people’s effort and acceptance. Before taking any decision in life we usually consider what others might say: family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, etc. It is true, by adopting their beliefs we very often avoid awkwardness, disputes, and gossip. But choosing to go with the flow and refusing to take into account the options does not lead to evolution.

Yes, it takes a lot of courage to be different. People are not brave enough to accept the challenge of shaping their own individual personalities and looking at life from a subjective perspective. We are too busy worrying that the pack of wolves we are part of might not actually approve of our choice. So what?
Being unique is so refreshing, rewarding and uplifting. And SO HUMAN.

Why do some friendships fail?

I have an old best friend for almost 14 years. The truth is, I‘ve been the only one to initiate contact with her for some time now. Our friendship is clearly fading away. No point in trying to see if she would contact me. I know she wouldn’t, at least not unless she has a good reason, like to congratulate me on some kind of occasion. I’ve been almost ready to accuse my friend of indifference so many times, I’ve had several attempts to defy her, but every time I lacked courage. Weary of waiting and analyzing, I now find ending the friendship officially more palatable than continuing to pretend our communication is still meaningful. On first blush, it seems like an optimal solution.

Sometimes we discover that our best friends, to whom we used to speak on a day to day basis and with whom we used to spend a lot of time, are no longer our friends. What could have possibly gone wrong? I guess being so close for years and then gradually falling out of touch is pretty common. There is no answer or possibly several answers to the question “why”. It’s either intentional or unconscious. At a certain point, we begin to question the very foundation of our friendships, particularly those that seemed to be so solid, and realize that we never really had that much in common after all. We just happened to be colleagues, neighbors or used to share the same passions for a while. If you think about it, people are drawn together by certain things in life, which never last.

They say true friends never fade out, and a friend in need is a friend indeed. Unfortunately distance seems to be the most common reason to lose contact with friends.

When a friendship gets to the point where you have to worry about calling or not after 6 months of silence, it has obviously reached its expiration date. No closeness and openness are possible at this stage. It turns into a one-sided friendship, which never works. So, why does it hurt? Maybe because I couldn’t face her and tell her the truth in order to get a closure and move on with my life. I am so afraid to hurt her feelings although she has already hurt mine several times by not being there for me. And vice versa, other things are consuming her and she clearly doesn’t feel like sharing them with me anymore. I don’t think she even realizes that our friendship is lost.

In the end, take it as a life-lesson. Friendships are prone to fall apart if they aren’t continually nurtured. It’s up to both sides to make efforts to sustain the relationship.

Sistemul medical din Romania nu incurajeaza nasterea naturala

Se spune ca Romania este tara tuturor posibilitatilor, dar nu intr-un sens bun. Se pare ca medicii nostri adora sa taie, sa macelareasca si sa coase in loc sa gaseasca mai intai metode alternative de tratament. Fara a sta pe ganduri, de la prima consultatie se decid interventii chirurgicale cu sutele si miile atunci cand in mod normal acestea necesita in prealabil investigatii mai profunde. De ce? Raspunsul e simplu: interese materiale. O operatie costa mai mult decat orice eventual tratament medicamentos sau de alt fel. O interventie chirurgicala atrage dupa sine multiple tratamente care si acestea vor costa pacientul mai mult, ocazie de care profita medicii pentru a-si promova anumite medicamente impuse de catre anumiti furnizori in schimbul anumitor facilitati sau sponsorizari pentru participari la conferinte in strainatate. 

Sistemul medical din Romania nu incurajeaza nasterea naturala. Conform datelor statistice, 65% din nasterile din Romania in ultimii ani au fost prin cezariana (fata de 27% in SUA de exemplu). Cezariana este o interventie chirurgicala care se impune cu adevarat in cazul anumitor probleme grave cum ar fi prolaps de cordon ombilical, hipertensiune, diabet matern sau pozitia incorecta a fatului in momentul nasterii. Dar acestea sunt in general cazuri rare. Mi-e greu sa cred ca 65% din femeile din Romania au avut un motiv atat de serios incat sa recurga la cezariana. Prin manipulare, doctorii pro-cezariana te indruma pe aceasta cale inca de la primele consultatii din timpul sarcinii. Romania este singura tara in care cezarienele sunt permise si la decizia pacientei. Daca aceasta doreste sa nasca pe aceasta cale, nimeni n-o va impiedica, chiar daca ea nu are motive medicale pentru a efectua o operatie. Aceasta optiune personala vine de cele mai multe din frica de a infrunta durerile nasterii dar si din lipsa de informare. Din pacate, dupa o cezariana corpul se reface mult mai greu, alaptarea poate intarzia, hormonii naturali ai mamei sunt inhibati astfel incat experienta poate deveni uneori traumatizanta. In plus, exista un mare pericol de infectie iar interventia poate afecta si capacitatea de a procrea ulterior.
Nasterea este un proces natural. Femeile au nascut copii pe cale vaginala de secole, si au fost in stare s-o faca foarte bine, de ce n-ar mai fi in ziua de azi? Da, durerile nasterii pot fi greu de suportat, dar sunt absolut naturale si normale, fata de durerile survenite in urma unei interventii chirurgicale.
 
In ceea ce priveste anestezia, acesta poate fi considerata o optiune, dar si aici se exagereaza mult la noi in tara. Unele femei care aleg sa nasca pe cale vaginala nici nu concep sa treaca peste aceasta experienta fara a apela la anestezia partiala (epidurala). Iar cele care nu opteaza pentru ea, sunt aproape fortate s-o faca, pentru ca dupa internare, asistentele bat la usa o data la 5 minute sa le intrebe daca nu doresc anastezie. Pana la urma ai tendinta sa cedezi psihic sau sa cazi prada tentatiei. Metoda este mai sanatoasa decat o nastere prin cezariana dar implica riscuri si dezavantaje pe care unele mame nu le cunosc. De exemplu, anestezicul interfereaza cu instinctul natural de impingere pe care femeia ar trebui sa-l manifeste in urma travaliului, si atunci se impune o impingere dirijata care nu mai e la fel de eficienta si poate prelungi expulzia. Orice medicament administrat in organismul mamei ajunge si la fat prin laptele matern care se secreta imediat dupa nastere. S-a observat ca bebelusii mamelor cu epidurala s-au nascut mai ametiti si lipsiti de energie. Injectia epidurala mai costa si ea 450 RON iar medicul anestezist cu siguranta trebuie sa aiba si el din ce sa traiasca. Motiv serios sau nu pentru a promova anestezia epidurala?
 
Al treilea aspect la care as vrea sa ma refer, este o alta interventie chirurgicala, de proportii mai mici, care se practica foarte frecvent in Romania in timpul nasterii vaginale : epiziotomia, sau taierea perineului. Faceti comparatie: in cea mai importanta maternitate din Geneva incidenta epiziotomiei este de 10%, iar in spitalele din Romania (mai ales cele de stat) este de 98% ! Iarasi, imi vine greu sa cred ca 98% din femeile noastre sunt atat de inguste sau incapabile sa nasca cu perineul intact. De obicei interventia este incurajata de catre doctori pe motiv ca: "e mai bine sa fii taiata decat sa te rupi" (desi, intre noi fie vorba poti sa te rupi mai putin decat te taie ei by default). In spatele acestei afirmatii se ascunde de fapt o alta motivatie: atat medicii cat si asistentele nu mai au rabdare sa scape cat mai repede si se treaca la urmatoarea nastere, astfel incat grabesc tot procesul cam cu 10 minute prin acest procedeu de taiere a perineului inainte sa iasa capul bebelusului. In multe cazuri interventia nu este necesara, deoacere unele femei sunt perfect capabile sa nasca si fara taietura, dar intr-adevar poate dura mai mult si necesita rabdare. Iar medicii nostri n-o au. Ei prefera sa te sperie, apoi sa te faca harcea parcea si sa te coase, ca asa e frumos. Exista chiar metode naturale de a preveni ruperea perineului cum ar fi exercitiile Kegel sau masajul perineal, practicate cu cateva saptamani inainte de nastere. Faceti un experiment : intrebati medicul dvs. ce parere are despre masajul perineal. Cu siguranta nu-l va incuraja, tocmai pentru a-si lasa o portita pentru taietura lui preferata. Al meu a raspuns: "e frectie la picior de lemn". Si degeaba a studiat el la Londra si la Paris daca nu este la curent cu beneficiile acestui masaj si rolul sau in prevenirea ruperii perineului. Inafara de asta, te mai si sperie rau, ca te vei rupe in asemenea hal incat nu vei mai avea viata sexuala normala dupa. De fapt, daca nu s-ar impune pozitia clasica culcata sau semi-culcata in sala de nasteri majoritatea femeilor ar trece prin momentul expulziei mult mai usor. Cateva alte pozitii si-au dovedit eficienta (pe vine, in picioare, in 4 labe) de secole, dar nu, la noi nu ai dreptul la variatie. Esti condamnata sa impingi intr-o pozitie total aiurea si ti se mai cere si sa reusesti in 2 timpi si 3 miscari. Niste porcarii de reguli care iti ingradesc libertatea de miscare si de manifestare a unor instincte naturale. Chiar si in timpul travaliului, cand ar trebui sa poti sa fii mobila gasesc ei pretexte sa te lege la un monitor sau la o perfuzie, doar ca sa-ti inhibe pornirile firesti.
 
Cred c-o sa incep sa sustin din ce in ce mai mult nasterea acasa. Desi este momentan ilegala in Romania, ar fi cea mai sanatoasa optiune. In Olanda 50% din nasteri au loc acasa. Si slava Domnului au copii sanatosi. Daca sarcina a decurs normal, gravida se simte bine, bebelusul sta in pozitia corecta si nu exista alte probleme exact inainte de nastere nu vad de ce ar fi nevoie sa mergi la un spital idiot unde o echipa de medici bazati sa te faca ferfenita si sa te marcheze pe viata.
 
Ah, si sa nu uitam faptul ca nu se incurajeaza la noi nici alaptarea la san. Bebelusii sunt luati de langa mama imediat dupa nastere si hraniti cu lapte praf (chiar fara acordul mamei) ca sa li se mareasca imediat stomacelul. Este o metoda subversiva de a promova laptele praf.
 
In concluzie, nimeni nu se gandeste la binele tau ca mama sau la binele bebelusului. Toate deciziile medicilor sunt mascate de considerente materiale, mai mult sau mai putin cunoscute de noi. O mentalitate invechita si practici barbare s-au impamantenit in spitalele din Romania si este foarte greu sa mai schimbi ceva. Daca incerci sa te revolti, sa-ti ceri drepturile, sa-ti impui dorintele, nu te asculta nimeni, pt ca in ochii lor esti un nimeni, si te vor trata ca atare. Spitalele private sunt mai ok, dar serviciile sunt inca extrem de scumpe. Chiar si acolo de multe ori trebuie sa lupti cu morile de vant.

Despre relatia noastra cu divinitatea

Fiecare dintre noi are o relatie speciala si personala cu divinitatea. A crede este un lucru frumos iar a-ti exprima credinta in propriul fel, de obicei prin comuniune intima cu Dumnezeu, poate contribui la o stare de bine care ne ajuta sa trecem mai usor prin viata. Credinciosul percepe divinitatea in propriul sau fel, in functie de educatia care a primit-o sau lecturile care l-au ghidat. Nu ne poate impune nimeni sa ne imaginam ca Dumnezeu este intr-un anume fel, pt ca asa cum suntem noi toti diferiti si perceptiile noastre sunt diferite, dar nu neaparat gresite. Abordarea sau invocarea divinitatii insa poate fi de multe ori alterata de pornirile noastre prea umane, de ex. in majoritatea cazurilor, atunci cand se roaga, oamenii se axeaza pe cerinte infinite sau comunicarea unor nemultumiri. Ba unii chiar ajung sa reproseze divinitatii ca nu au obtinut suficient de rapid lucrurile pe care le-au cerut atat de fervent prin rugaciune. Deoarece Dumnezeu este in fiecare dintre noi, ne cunoaste dorintele si tainele, nu are nici un rost sa cerem cu insistenta anumite lucruri. El stie ce sa ne dea si exact cat putem duce. A crede nu este egal cu a cere. Cel mai intelept lucru pe care il putem face este sa multumim de fiecare data pt ceea ce avem deja fara a dori mai mult. Din pacate, de cele mai multe ori, oamenii uita sa multumeasca, considerand ca merita mai mult dar nu primesc in mod nejustificat.

Din pacate pentru o parte din oameni, relatia cu divinitatea se rezuma la mersul la biserica o data pe saptamana. Fatada, parada de ochii lumii si nimic mai mult. Pacat. Pacat intr-un sens si in altul. Multi dintre ei asculta slujba in mod automat fara sa priceapa mesajul. Se inchina, aprind lumanari, stau in picioare cu orele doar pt ca asa fac altii si asa «trebuie», isi fac cruce conform traditiei in timp ce se gandesc in alta parte sau analizeaza lumea din jur. Intrebati-i daca au deschis vreodata Biblia sau cunosc originea anumitor sarbatori crestine. O sa ramaneti surprinsi.

Credinta inseamna pur si simplu sinceritate si comuniune cu Dumnezeu intr-un spatiu intim. Si ce spatiu mai intim poate exista pe lume decat propriul suflet? Nu biserica este casa Domnului, ci sufletul. Acolo esti singur tu cu gandurile tale, te poti exprima liber, nu te aude si nu te judeca nimeni pentru ceea ce faci sau spui. Divinitatea salasluieste in sufletele noastre, acolo trebuie s-o cautam in primul rand. La urma urmei, cine se va ruga pentru tine mai sincer si mai curat decat tu insuti? Poate doar mama, dar in nici un caz un preot oarecare ce citeste zilnic de pe biletele nume de persoane pe care nu le cunoaste. Credinta nu are nevoie de intermediari. Daca recurgem la intermediari inseamna ca nu avem incredere in propria putere de a-L invoca pe Dumnezeu, de a putea comunica cu El. E adevarat, ca primii preoti care au existat pe lume (vezi Vechiul Testament) au fost unsi de Dumnezeu Insusi, pe baza vocatiei lor. Mai departe s-a perpetuat o traditie care a transformat vocatia intr-o meserie (profitabila), iar biserica intr-o institutie care de secole manipuleaza masele alaturi de alte institutii in cadrul statului. Sa ne aducem aminte de perioada in care oamenii erau pacaliti sa-si cumpere din timpul vietii un loc in rai (nu radeti, asta se intampla in evul mediu) sau de nenumaratele razboaie declansate pe parcursul istoriei de catre institutia bisericii sub pretextul credintei.

Rugaciunea trebuie sa fie dezinteresata si gratuita, relatia cu Dumnezeu trebuie sa nu coste nimic, credinta insemnand prin definitie daruire si altruism. Si atunci de ce mersul la biserica implica mereu alocarea de sume «neoficiale» ca niste taxe mai mult sau mai putin obligatorii? Ah, daca acesti bani ar ajunge intr-adevar la saraci si nevoiasi, nu as avea nimic impotriva. Dar din pacate aceste sume ajung in buzunarul cuiva (clerului), care se imbogateste pe seama naivitatii noastre.

Multe lucruri costa in viata asta, insa credinta este fara indoiala gratuita si accesibila oricui. Oricine, oricat de sarac trebuie sa-si poata permite sa comunice cu Dumnezeu. Nu are nevoie pentru asta decat de un suflet, o pornire spre dialog interior, singuratate si sinceritate. E atat de simplu sa cream acea relatie speciala si personala de care vorbeam la inceput, incat nici nu ne dam seama.


(p.s. In special pt mamica: declar pe propria raspundere ca nu fac parte din nici o secta si nu reprezint interesele nici unei grupari religioase.)

Program zilnic de alimentatie in sarcina

Mic dejun - cereale cu lapte (fulgi de porumb, ovaz, hrisca, gris, orez)

Gustare intre mic dejun si pranz - salata de legume proaspete (salata verde, ardei, castravete, rosii, ceapa verde) cu bucati de telemea si doua felii de paine prajita cu unt (alternati paine alba cu integrala si neagra) sau vara se poate manca telemea cu rosii, puteti adauga la meniu si un ou fiert tare la 2-3 zile.

Pranz - o supa sau o ciorba cu pesmeti

Dupa masa de pranz se iau si multivitaminele de sarcina (+ fier din luna 5)

Intre mese - gustare din fructe: 1 mar + 1 portocala / 1 banana, sau fructe de sezon

Cina - la alegere: peste, pui sau vita cu garnitura (cartofi, orez, fasole, spanac, linte), puteti consuma si porc dar mai rar

Inainte de somn - un iaurt sau un pahar cu lapte batut

Pe parcursul zilei obligatoriu:

2 litri de lichide pe zi (1,5 l apa + 0,5 l alte lichide – lapte, ciorba, suc natural)

Cel putin 2 fructe pe zi

3 tipuri de lactate pe zi (de ex. un pahar cu lapte, 50g telemea si 1 iaurt mic)

Intre mese se pot consuma nuci, arahide, caju, seminte, fructe uscate (contin fier)

Exclus – cafea, alcool

Evitati dulciurile, mezelurile, sucurile din comert, mancarea dubioasa.

Se recomanda 1 jumatate de ora de plimbare zilnic (daca lucrati alegeti o portiune de drum sa mergeti pe jos) si 20 minute de exercitii pt gravide (se pot face si seara inainte de somn, cand stati la TV).

Urmand acest program zilnic veti avea siguranta ca bebelusul dvs. are acces la toate vitaminele si mineralele necesare dezvoltarii normale iar dvs. o alimentatie echilibrata si un regim organizat care va va feri de constipatie, carcei, amorteala bratelor, dureri de spate. De asemenea, nu va veti ingrasa mai mult decat trebuie.

Formula magica este deci miscare + aer + apa + hrana sanatoasa.

Sugestii:

- Inlocuiti pe cat posibil sucurile cu apa, dar aveti grija sa aiba o sursa sigura

- Nu mancati fructe chiar inainte de somn pt ca pot cauza balonare si indigestie in timpul noptii

- Variati fructele la cateva zile

- Iarna e mai greu cu salatele, fiind putine legume romanesti pe piata, va sugerez salata de morcovi + telina rase cu o lingura de smantana sau salata de ridiche

- Seara dupa dus nu uitati sa va masati pe burtica, sani si coapse cu ulei de migdale sau ulei de masline pentru a hidrata pielea si a preveni vergeturile.

Fumatul in timpul sarcinii – ignoranta si egoism

Am vazut in parc cateva gravide care fumau si cateva mamici care alaptau cu tigara in mana. Mi se pare cel mai ingrozitor lucru. Este vorba in primul rand de ignoranta – copilul din burtica sau nou-nascutul si asa va fi expus unei lumi pline de pericole cum ar fi poluarea, hrana artificiala sau stress, dar mama ii mai administreaza in mod constient inca o doza de pericol, doar pentru ca ea nu are taria de caracter sa renunte la un obicei prost care nici ei nu-i face bine. In al doilea rand este vorba de egoism. O femeie insarcinata fumatoare demonstreaza deja ca ii pasa mai mult de ea insasi decat de copilul pe care urmeaza sa-l aduca pe lume. Poate suna dur, dar eu asa vad lucrurile. La orice slabiciune se poate renunta cu putin efort daca aceasta renuntare iti va aduce tie sau celor din jur un beneficiu pe termen lung. Nu pot compara fumatul cu nici o alta slabiciune, pentru ca nu exista nimic similar, poate doar jocurile de noroc, intr-o oarecare masura. Insa alea pot doar sa te ruineze financiar nu si pe interior.
Tentatiile sunt mari in ziua de azi, inclusiv pentru o femeie insarcinata, care poate isi doreste o prajitura apetisanta de la cofetarie (toate sunt facute din crema artificiala), o punga de cheaps-uri (otrava adevarata), o noapte petrecuta intr-un club de distractii (zgomotul foarte mare si fumul de tigara excesiv ii poate face rau bebelusului), etc. Dar inainte sa dam frau liber poftelor trebuie sa ne gandim ca nu mai suntem in secolul 19 cand se faceau copii pe banda. Acum varsta medie a gravidutelor porneste in general de la aproape 30 ani, multe fac si dupa 30, cand deja si asa exista pericole foarte multe din punct de vedere fiziologic atat pentru mama cat si pentru fat. Cand te decizi la o sarcina dupa 30 ani iti iei un angajament foarte serios pentru ca nu ai timp sa mai incerci inca de 5 ori dupa aceea. Si chiar am observat ca gravidele de 20 si ceva de ani sunt mult mai distrate, neatente si nu iau in serios responsabilitatea, poate pentru ca au tot timpul din lume sa mai incerce in cazul in care pierd o sarcina sau nasc un copil cu malformatii din cauza fumatului.
Din pacate si asa traim intr-o tara mizerabila care nu da doi bani pe reproducere si natalitate. Sistemul sanitar nu permite o urmarire normala a sarcinii pe bani putini. In aceste conditii de ce ne-am face si noi rau cu mana noastra? Un efort, un mic efort, dar satisfactia va fi mare atunci cand ti se va spune ca ai nascut un bebelus perfect sanatos. Intr-adevar, nu exista garantia ca va fi sanatos daca nu fumezi, dar macar stii ca ai facut tot posibilul sa contribui la sanatatea lui.

Revue de livre "Charly 9" de Jean Teulé

C'est ma première lecture de Jean Teulé mais je me déclare déjà presque conquise par le style du romancier, qui deviendra bientôt mon préféré. Autant de symbolisme, de profondeur et en même temps d'ironie et de sarcasme (à la fois comique et tragique), sont difficiles à trouver ailleurs.

Le destin de Charles IX m'était assez familier avant de choisir ma lecture, pourtant, le roman m'a profondément impressionné par une perception différente du personnage.

L'action débute par le complot du massacre, mis en place par Catherine de Médicis, Henri d'Anjou et le conseil de gouvernement. Je laisse de côté mon propre avis sur les vrais organisateurs, car c'est un roman et pas une biographie, donc les erreurs historiques sont acceptées. La veuve noire et Ses Yeux Chers arrivent à convaincre Charles de la nécessité du carnage en évoquant les arguments suivants:
- Éviter de lutter en Flandre contre l'Espagne catholique
- Utiliser le prétexte pour se débarrasser de Coligny, mauvais conseiller du roi selon Catherine
- Prévenir l'enlèvement de la famille royale comploté par les protestants
- Stopper les protestants qui s'emparaient déjà des villes et égorgeaient les catholiques

Le procédé employé par l'auteur pour montrer l'accroissement de l'effroi de Charles vis à vis des comploteurs est tout à fait troublant: «deux morts?», «six morts?», «cent morts?», «mille morts?», «trente mille morts?» Ce n'est qu'une répétition qui préfigure et augmente la tragédie.

La phrase «Ce ne sont quand même que des protestants» révèle une attitude inhumaine envers une religion qui n'est pas encore reconnue. Selon la mentalité des catholiques, le massacre ne devait être qu'une «grande lessive» approuvée par Dieu.

Charles n'a jamais voulu être roi, fait confirmé par le portrait qu'on lui fasse dans l'ouvrage et par ses propres mots. D'une certaine façon, le roi essaie de minimiser son rôle dans le massacre à celui d'un simple témoin, accablé par le malheur, incapable de prendre des décisions. «Agis comme tu veux, mamma. C'est ta décision...»

Les cris épouvantables des corbeaux «Quoi», «Crois» et «Croa» le jour de 24 août 1572 symbolisent la stupéfaction générale juste après le carnage, et la mort qui dominait le paysage.

Charles se rend compte à plusieurs occasions que son copain Henriot (futur Henri IV) «pue», mais c'est juste une métaphore utilisée par le roi pour se moquer de son esprit hésitant entre les deux religions, qui l'ai aidé en effet à survivre le massacre et à conserver ses chances à la couronne de France. Celui qui pue n'est pas franc avec les autres, il cache sa vraie identité.

Charles IX l'homme nous est révélé en toute splendeur dans les dialogues avec sa mère, Elisabeth, Henriot et Ambroise Paré.

Très jeune, au début de son règne, Charles commence à désirer la mort immédiatement après la St. Barthélemy: «Dois-je me retirer dans ma chambre ou dans quelque désert ou sous quelque rocher? Où fuir?» Sa propre phrase annonce sa mort pré-mature, perçue sans doute comme un refuge.

Le motif de l'autruche est très important dans la tentative de l'auteur de nous rendre le portrait fidèle du roi: «les autruches se mettent la tête dans le sable pour ne plus avoir à regarder les problèmes en face. Sinon, c'est un oiseau coureur.» On reconnaît facilement le caractère de Charles dans cette courte description: roi par hasard, né pour ne pas gouverner, aime laisser aux autres la liberté de prendre des décisions pour s'en débarrasser, et chasser en toute liberté. «Aux civilisations, je préfère les paysages.»

Après le massacre, Charles voit et sent des remords et reproches partout, même dans sa soupe: «là aussi, c'est plein d'yeux écarquillés de reproches qui me regardent!» Malheureusement les remords vont se transformer en obsession, l'obsession en maladie, qui va aboutir à sa mort au bout de deux ans après le malheureux événement. D'autant plus que toute la Chrétienté et le pape le considère comme «le vengeur du ciel», tandis qu'en vérité il n'est qu'un «jeune roi tueur».

Contre toute attente, quand le roi apprend la naissance de sa fille il se sent soulagé de ne pas laisser un héritier mâle à la postérité.  Un garçon, futur roi, lui aura-t-il sans doute reproché son pire exploit et il n'aurait pu justifier son acte.

Quand la démence s'accentue, Charles passe par plusieurs états d'esprit – il tue son chien, il a des crises de nerfs, des accès de fureur, (il se venge contre les animaux, mais en fait c'est après les hommes qu'il est fâché).  «Je ressemble à ces chiens qui sont entrés dans l'eau et qui ne peuvent regagner le bord car le courant les emporte si bien qu'en nageant toujours à la fin ils se noient.»

A un certain moment de sa folie, Charles manifeste son envie de tuer tout son peuple pour faire les gens oublier le massacre, et le bourreau lui devient un bon ami car ils semblent avoir trouvé beaucoup d'affinités.

En ce qui concerne l'aspect physique de Charles après la St. Barthélemy: «A vingt-trois ans, le roi aux rides profondes donne l'impression d'être âgé de plus de double...» - il est un homme consommé.

Vers sa fin, le symbolisme s'accentue, notamment quand il s'agit de l'immense quantité de sang perdu par Charles pendant sa maladie: «C'est tout le sang que j'ai fait verser qui ressort par ma peau!» La maladie est probablement survenue comme résultat de son bouleversement intérieur, son regret pour l'acte commis: «La honte me dévore autant que la douleur...»

«L'enfer, je l'ai déjà vécu sur terre.» - voilà les considérations d'un jeune homme extrêmement marqué par son destin. Du coup, l'autopsie du cadavre du roi relève un «cœur flasque et comme desséché: toute l'humeur aqueuse, habituellement contenue dans le péricarde, ayant disparu.»

Le final s'avère bien triste pour Charles aussi bien que pour nous, les spectateurs. Inévitablement, le roi est bientôt oublié et la guerre recommence. Il n'a été donc qu'une victime de son temps. Avec ou sans lui, le massacre de la St. Barthélémy aurait eu lieu.

Grâce à un décor et des scènes assez statiques, le livre de Jean Teulé pourrait facilement être joué comme une pièce de théâtre. Les commentaires sont inutiles, je vous invite à lire...

"La guerre des trois Henri" – dernières impressions

Je viens de finir la lecture de deux premiers romans de la trilogie "La guerre des trois Henri": "Les rapines du duc de Guise" et "La guerre des amoureuses" de Jean d'Aillon. Des romans plutôt historiques et d’aventures que policiers (trouvés au rayon des romans policiers...), mais assez charmants par leurs intrigues et machinations. L’auteur est visiblement tenté d’imiter le vieux Dumas, auquel il fait référence à plusieurs occasions, mais reste encore loin de ses aspirations. Parfois l’action se déroule trop rapidement et il y en a trop de personnages à suivre. Intéressant et captivant quand même... Je vais chercher le dernier tome: "La ville qui n’aimait pas son roi", pour finir la lecture de la trilogie et tirer une conclusion plus définitoire sur le style d’Aillon.

Religion – accepting inheritance or making a choice?

I wanted to write about this for such a long time but, frankly speaking, I was afraid to make waves. Religious issues have caused wars in the past centuries and even nowadays people continue arguing about religion and keep imposing their religious beliefs on other people without realizing that such an attitude endangers our freedom of thought as individuals.
Every human being has the right to believe in whatever he/she wishes to believe in and nobody is entitled to compel him/her to believe in something else or to question his/her choice. But most of us do that consciously or unconsciously during our entire life.
Unfortunately, even atheists tend to engage into religious debates and never miss the opportunity to display the rationality of their own considerations on this subject. No matter our religious education we just cannot help trying to force other people to share our beliefs. I cannot understand why. Although we more easily accept vegetarians or homosexuals, when it comes to religion, conflicts always turn out to be deep and dangerous.
I was born in a Christian Orthodox family and baptized in an Orthodox church at a very early age, being unable to agree or disagree with my parents’ decision to make me an Orthodox. In our country children are simply condemned to continue the tradition, based on a decision that has never been theirs.
I have read many things on different religions ever since I grew old enough to ask myself various existential questions and the subject started to interest me as from a philosophical point of view. Like everybody else, I used to share my family’s beliefs out of habit, but as I continued to build my own assumptions I gradually realized that the religion chosen for me by my parents does not define me at all. I am not in any way against it and I would never try to convince my family to share my views, however I prefer to be offered the freedom of choice at this age, without being misjudged or looked upon as a traitor or a freak.
Theoretically I have this freedom but breaking up with tradition would definitely mean alienation from my family, a hostile social environment, and having to deal with people’s incapacity to accept my new beliefs.
In conclusion, I would like a different life for my child. I want to encourage him to make his own choices in every possible matter, including religion. At the right age, he would probably show some interest (or not) in reading about religion and decide what he wants to believe in. I would be fine with him choosing any religion, something among the existing ones or even creating his own personal faith, as long as he believes in GOD. I still hope this beautiful perspective is possible and applicable without causing a social scandal.
We are not obliged to adopt our parents’ religious, political or any other kind of views. Religion is simply a choice we make. The important thing is to believe in what makes us happy.

No beauty during pregnancy

People say pregnant women look more beautiful than they did before. I think it’s totally false. When you see a pregnant lady who got fat you obviously cannot tell that to her face, instead, you try to approach her with more delicacy by saying something nice and cliché like: wow, you look even more beautiful!

Pregnant women cannot look better than they did before for several reasons. First of all, they are getting fat. It’s normal, it’s obvious and it’s visible. When a woman feels fat she cannot look beautiful, at least for herself. Secondly, pregnancy makes some odors almost intolerable, including make-up and creams. Most pregnant women tend to avoid make-up or stay away from it. And another reason is that morning sickness makes everything so unimportant, like wearing a sexy dress or a fine make-up. You’re going to throw up anyway, no matter what you are wearing…. So, why bother?

No beauty during pregnancy, that’s the harsh reality. But there is still hope after the baby is born to get back to the old mermaid shape or even better. It all depends on the woman’s strong will and motivation.

Mai sunt moldovenii gospodari?

Moldovenii se considera gospodari prin definitie. Este aproape o mandrie nationala. Se spune ca moldovenii sunt harnici si au grija de casa/gospodaria lor mai bine decat alte popoare. Dar daca o sa vizitati Republica Moldova in zilele noastre posibil sa puneti la indoiala aceasta afirmatie legendara. Peste tot domneste un haos de nedescris. In orase strazile arata jalnic, unele nu au mai fost reparate din vremea comunismului (si au trecut peste 20 ani!), autobusele utilizate in transportul public dateaza cred ca din 1970, fac un zgomot infernal si scot nori de fum, scolile arata de parca ar fi cladiri parasite, stadioanele nu mai exista, majoritatea au fost lasate in paragina sau transformate in piete municipale unde vin taranii sa vanda branza sau fructe. Nu exista nici un fel de ordine, dar oamenii nu par sa fie deranjati de aceasta stare a lucrurilor. Fiecare isi vede de treaba lui, are grija sa fie curat si bine la el in casa, sa aiba ce manca, si nu mai conteaza ca scara blocului sta sa se prabuseasca sau curtea unde se joaca copiii e impanzita de buruiene.

Stau si ma gandesc daca se va schimba vreodata ceva. A trebuit sa vina comunismul in 1940 ca sa ajungem si noi prin 70-80 la un nivel de viata decent, la ordine si disciplina. Din 1989 lumea se plange de democratie si efectele ei dar nu realizeaza ca de fapt ce lipseste acum si exista atunci era o mana forte care ne dirija si ne disciplina. Moldovenii nu sunt in stare sa faca nimic fara sa fie manati din urma, eventual cu forta.

Cum se face dar ca in casele si apartamentele lor este atat de curat si bine dar nu ii intereseaza cum arata curtea din fata blocului? Nu zic, poate intr-adevar nu sunt bani pentru reparatii de drumuri si reabilitare cladiri, dar sa fim seriosi, nici dorinta nu exista. Ne-am plafonat, ne-am inchis in spiritul familiei si a murit demult simtul raspunderii pentru comunitate, solidaritatea si dorinta de a face un bine pentru altii, fara a astepta recompensa. Cu putina vointa am putea iesi macar o data pe an sa strangem gunoaiele din cartier. Dar nu ne intereseaza. Apropo, valabil si pentru Romania.

Am avut norocul sa-mi petrec copilaria in mijlocul anilor 80 intr-un sat din Rep. Moldova, care arata foarte bine pe vremuri, drumurile erau proaspat asfaltate, accesibile, exista un parculet in centrul satului cu leagane in forma de barcute pentru copii, scoala avea un stadion ingrijit, ba chiar se organizau competitii sportive acolo, exista pe vremuri si un club cu cinematograf pentru tineri. Am amintiri foarte placute din acea perioada. In momentul de fata nu se mai poate intra in sat cu masina, pentru ca s-a rupt podul de peste iaz si nu s-a gasit nimeni sa-l repare, iar ulitele au ajuns intr-un asemenea hal incat nici cu 4x4 nu le poti aborda. Era un sat vioi si plin de lume vesela. Acum nu a ramas decat vreo duzina de batrani care stau sa moara, restul au evadat la oras sau spre tari straine pentru a-si asigura un trai. Intr-adevar, vremurile sunt altele, somajul e in floare, preturile sunt mari. Dar poti sesiza o vadita atitudine de nepasare din partea tuturor iar universul in care traim nu poate fi definit decat HAOS.

Am fost si la Chisinau acu ceva timp, m-am plimbat prin centru si am ramas dezamagita. Arata gri si neinteresant. Halal capitala - trafic haotic, drumuri pline de gropi. Iaka asa.

Pacat de tarisoara asta si de oamenii ei atat de mandri de sangele care le curge prin vene. Nu ne-a ramas decat orgoliul. Suntem o tara de făluţi (aici ma refer si la clasa politica). Iar faptul ca fugim din Moldova si ne capatuim in alta parte nu e o mare realizare, caci in definitiv si la urma urmei pentru propria noastra tara nu facem nimic. Traiasca orgoliul moldovenesc! (= zero)

Picture hanging on a hospital room wall

I once wrote a poem about a picture hanging on a hospital room wall. It was about ten years ago. There’s an empty hospital room again, only this time the picture is real and the poem is undone. It’s the spirit that’s hanging. An indefinitely shaped spirit is haunting me. But the picture is definitely real. I have it all. Or almost.  At last I have something real to rely on, but still so intangible and hard to perceive.

Actors' Resemblance: Aaron Tveit & Charity Wakefield

I watched Gossip Girl season 3 and then Sense and Sensibility mini-series of 2008 and then I realized how much Aaron Tveit (playing Tripp Van Der Bilt in Gossip Girl) and Charity Wakefield (playing Marianne Dashwood in Sense & Sensibility) looked like each other. First I thought they might be brother and sister but apparently they are not. Judge for yourself by comparing the photos.

 

Movie Review: The Secret Life of the American Teenager

I was looking for a teenage sitcom to cheer me up a bit and make me remember my adolescence days, when I used to have no worries and life was so easy. Someone advised me to watch “The Secret Life of the American Teenager”. To my disappointment, this TV series pictures a life which is even worse than my adult life!

First of all, girls get pregnant at 15 and end their childhood in raising a baby or getting married. Not likely to happen in reality, although I agree, there might be some exceptions.
Boys of 16 take full responsibility of their own actions and never run away from the girls they got pregnant. How far is that from reality?

Of course, there are teenagers who really get into such troubles but what are the odds of this happening to two girls related by the same ex-boyfriend? Amy’s getting pregnant really seemed like a pure accident but Adrian’s, hmmmm, not so much. It happened in a car, she was on the pill and they used a condom… Dear producers, you succeeded to scare the hell out of all the boys looking for sex in high school!

But what struck me the most was that all the characters could ever talk about was sex. If you listen to their conversations, the phrase “having sex” comes up once a minute. I understand the producers’ concern to warn teenagers against the dangers of involving into early sexual relationships, but don’t you think repeating the word obsessively will only make them want it even more? You know how reverse psychology works.

In “The Secret Life of the American Teenager” relationships are built on whether to have sex or not, which doesn’t always reflect reality. Back in my days, we used to go to the movies, take long walks, kiss in the backyard before returning home after dates and fantasize about the other person in a totally naïve and dreamy way. Maybe things have changed since, but I still believe adolescence to be much more than an obsession with sex.

If the creators of “The Secret Life of the American Teenager” really aim to teach teenagers a lesson by presenting Amy’s or Adrian’s fate, their way of doing that is totally lame. How can you recommend young girls to take contraceptive pills at 15? Don’t you know they are totally unhealthy at that age? Restraining early ovulation can result in not being unable to conceive later on, true fact confirmed by specialists. Unless teenagers are resolute to take this road, I plead for condoms, as the perfect way to avoid early pregnancy or transmission of sexual diseases. They work in 99% of the cases. Or else, abstinence before 18.

As to the TSLOTAT dialogues, they are commonly long, iterative and boring. Characters are usually discussing insignificant issues and it seems like all they do is talk. The most commonly used phrase after “having sex” is “we have to talk”, like there’s always something important to say, but as we listen to them we realize how futile most of their conversations are.

The series started on the right foot, and I kind of enjoyed the first season, but as I moved forward to the second one, it gradually turned into a cheap soap opera. A week in the movie lasts as a week in our real life. After the first season I thought that each season’s action would end up by the beginning of the summer vacation. They weren’t able to do that during the second season and expanded the action so much that Amy’s trip to New York lasted for several episodes, which was really annoying.

The producer focuses on teenagers’ personal lives and neglects the importance of school. A teenager’s life mainly consists of studying rather than chatting in the school halls. The characters are so busy with considerations about sex or discussing apparently important subjects that they forget about what should be their main concern at their age: getting an education. How can you promote such an unhealthy perspective?

In their high school there are no real teachers (they are never there), just a counselor, who is replaced every year and interferes with the characters’ lives. It can leave viewers with the impression that school is only important for personal matters.

Parents are so involved in their children’s “secret life” that poor teenagers have no privacy at all. It’s very annoying.

I would go on and on about it, but I guess it’s useless. “The Secret Life of the American Teenager” is supposed to be life-like but it isn’t.
Dear teenagers, please don’t watch it, save your time, go to school, do whatever you like, just don’t take birth control pills and enjoy life!

Chambord – the Dreamlike Castle

Pick a sunny day to visit Chambord. It will be the perfect occasion to take wonderful pictures inside and outside the magnificent residence.
The estate of Chambord is part of the vast French heritage, a unique spot in France and one of the top visited castles in the world.
The huge enterprise of building the castle was initiated in 1519 when the king François I was only 25 years old. Intended not as a place to reside in but rather to brag about, Chambord’s splendors were designed to display the French monarchy’s power and wealth. The result challenged both the Spanish emperor and the English king, who subsequently couldn’t help creating their own local imitations.
Chambord is undoubtedly the most eloquent example of Renaissance architecture, including a few late medieval elements. It is in fact a synthesis of shapes and decorations beautifully combined to offer surprisingly modern for those times loggias, terraces and facades.
The initial hunting lodge grew into an extravagant château containing 426 rooms, 77 staircases and 282 fireplaces. The entire construction appears delightfully graceful and well-balanced. The perfect symmetry makes it look like a doll castle from above.
It’s a pity that François I spent only 72 days of his reign here. He used to travel a lot and Chambord was not among his numerous residences, but rather a place for hunting and showing off to special visitors, like the emperor Charles V.
The construction was later on continued and finalized by his offspring Henry II and Louis XIV.
What I really enjoyed at Chambord was:
- the famous double spiral staircase - comprises two concentric spiral flights of stairs that wind independently so that two people each taking one flight can never meet
- the coach room - an exhibition of old horse-drawn carriages
- the terraces – offer a spectacular view over the entire estate
- the park - covers 5440 hectares surrounded by a long wall enclosing a forest and a national reserve for wild animals.
I strongly recommend visiting Chambord, one of the best attractions of the Loire Valley in France. You need two hours to see the castle inside and about 2-3 hours to discover the rest of the estate. There are some very nice restaurants just across where you can have lunch in the sunshine and enjoy the lovely view.

The truth about Moldova

- Moldova is a small ex-soviet country situated in the Eastern Europe
- Moldova is the last European country to be governed by the Communist Party (until 2009)
- Moldova has EU prices and third world wages - average salary is 100 euros, 1kg of potatoes -1,5€, a pair of shoes - 80€ and home heating energy bill in winter - 90€/month.
- 50% of the Moldavian population is working abroad to support families left at home
- Moldavians are very nice and friendly people unless you ask them about their history, which is painful
- Half the inhabitants sympathize with Russia and the other half with Romania, creating an atmosphere of mistrust and dissension
- Moldova has no president for over 2 years, due to lack of political agreement between the major parties
- Moldova occupies a surface of 33846 km2 but has more political parties than any other country in the world
- Most Moldavians are nostalgic about the Communist period when their lives were secure and simple
- Corruption is almost legal in Moldova, everybody knows but nobody does anything to stop it
- Moldavians really love their country, but they have never been able to protect it from invaders and submissively yielded every time
- Moldavians are obsessed with food and fancy clothes. They cook way too much on special occasions only to eat half of it, and wear fancy clothes every day only to display their wealth
- Moldova is a country of contrasts. The poorest European country shows off the most expensive houses, cars, clothes, jewelry. But in spite of appearances, most people are actually striving to survive.